This Valentine

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February 14 2012 was a very miserable day for me and I’m determined not to have such a day again. I had gotten to the office that morning ready for the day’s work having convinced myself there was nothing special about the day. As early as 8.00 am that morning, the flowers, cakes, gift boxes and other gifts had started trickling in. By 12.pm every female in the office had various gifts neatly displayed around their work station, every female except me. My table stood out for its emptiness, I didn’t receive one single gift. I wanted to disappear and sink into the ground.

 

There are some individuals that make it their duty to make life miserable for others and I was unfortunate to have two of such in my office. I almost died from their teasing that day. They threw a myriad of questions were  at me.

Folayimika, Don’t you have a boyfriend or a fiancé or a maga or something?”

“But you are a fine girl now, how come nobody is sending anything to you?”

“Is it that your man is stingy?

“I have noticed you don’t talk about any man ? “

“Is there a problem, if there is please try to pray about it or Perhaps you should tell your mum?…….

“All these your plenty catwalking and bonfo should have produced something by now ooo”

“Maybe you should try convent oo”

The questions and teasings went on until I stood up and left for the restroom to avoid them seeing my tears.

It was a source of constant worry to me that no man seemed to be interested in me, the last time any guy asked me out (not counting motor cycle riders and the occasional annoying bus conductors) was over three years ago. For some reason I still don’t understand, they just stopped coming. I wouldn’t stoop so low to ask any man out (not that there was even any that I thought was worth the shame) but I tried a lot of things, I changed my whole wardrobe and started wearing very short dresses and even wore tight fitting suits to work but it still didn’t work, I even joined the choir in my church and attended every singles program organized by my church or any other church but not one brother glanced at me twice.

I believe I am a beautiful girl, 6.1 feet tall, fair complexioned, blessed with a pretty face and a well developed bosom, men should be falling over themselves to have me but somehow there hadn’t been any since I broke up with Hussein, the one that vowed that I will live to regret dumping him, sometimes I wonder if his curse was the reason for my being without a man.

 

So, this valentine, I was ready to do all it takes to avoid shame. I carefully planned my strategy and set my plans in motion as early as November 2012. I searched for pictures of black guys on Google and chose a really handsome one that I was sure wasn’t a celebrity and used it as my display picture on Blackberry. I used the picture at least once in a week and I always made sure there was a smiley that depicted love or kisses in my display message and would use words such as le boo, me loff, bobo etc. Gradually the questions changed to “who is this guy of yours?” “Where does he stay?” “Where does he work?….. I never answered any of the questions, I just replied with a caustic “stay tuned”.

 

I started planning the gifts that I would send to myself on Monday 11th February 2013. My budget for this project was =N= 100,000, I wanted to be the center of all attention, my sanity depended on it. I made sure the calls were made when I was alone in my flat, I couldn’t risk anyone hearing I was making orders for myself. I paid for all purchases with my GTBank Naira MasterCard and gave the delivery address as my office.

 

So today, the 16 inches forest cake came in first at exactly 8.10 am. It was beautiful and I let out my carefully practiced “Awwww, my baby is so sweet” It had an inscription that said “My Darling Folayimika”. The cake was so beautiful and I beamed in smiles as my colleagues trooped to my desk to have a look. I smirked satisfied at the surprised look on their faces, if only you knew there is more to come, I thought.

 

The Valentine hamper came next, a big basket that had cost me =N=25,000. That was the one they all went gaga over; they arranged the gifts around my work station and took endless pictures. I was giddy with excitement, this was a good valentine and there was still even more gifts to come. By 11.00 am when the bouquet of fresh red roses came, there was a shriek of excitement in the entire office. “Wow!” they exclaimed, I looked out for jealous looks from my female colleagues and I caught quite a few. The bouquet was huge and filled my entire arms. I grinned from ear to ear excited by the attention I was receiving. At exactly one o clock, the big box of Swedish chocolates came in, everyone wanted me to open the box and cut the cake and so I left it for them, I even allowed my two greatest teasers to be in charge of the sharing.

 

I believe fervently that the =N=85,000 I spent in arranging all the gifts was worth it, you could say it was a waste of good money but I think the attention I received and the sadness I avoided today was worth the money spent. I was still smiling even as my office assistant packed my gifts into the boot of my car. I know the sadness will come later tonight when I am all alone and I see the display pictures of my friends going out on dinner dates with their husbands and boyfriends. The tears will come then but for now I am enjoying the happiness I feel. Perhaps I won’t have to do this next year. I can only hope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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42 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. cocosgist
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 18:34:49

    No comment!!!

    Reply

  2. sagay
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 19:27:35

    I’ll drop my comment by next val…

    Reply

  3. Abusidiqu
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 19:41:08

    You can still do It again next year, but let the gift truly come from a man this time around. Just give me the money, may be 200k cos by next year, value must have dropped, then I will just arrange fine things and send to you. At least it will be an improvement. May be if it continues like that, the years ahead may just be it. Lol.

    Reply

  4. Tomisin Ajiboye
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 20:18:24

    Errmmmm! What should I say self gan? You need help, before you go crazy.

    Reply

  5. Megadon
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 20:32:27

    Touching… For every lady, there is a man created specially for her, might take a while to get him but you will meet him soon… Just keep being good and Mr right will come soon. Pls don’t be desperate and be good

    Reply

  6. Yanky Abdullahi
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 20:45:57

    I really feel ur pain its not easy but u need to pray over this urself clear ur heart forgive every body that has offended u go into fasting and prayers am sure God will see u through don’t even go 2 any churches they can only deceive u and collect ur money just within u and God will help u so sorry about this

    Reply

  7. Aziz
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 21:10:57

    Bravo!!! Nice one. Feel so sad for her. But seriously, she really needs to go to Synagogue.

    Reply

  8. honey
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 21:40:32

    I know dz feeling..tz well dear..

    Reply

  9. fabunmi tolani
    Feb 15, 2013 @ 22:47:18

    Nice one, i can’t stop laughing. Good work sis

    Reply

  10. oluwatobilobah Balogun
    Feb 16, 2013 @ 06:01:59

    Fabunmi, magadon, tomisin, I pray you will never experience such because you all talking like a fools instead for u to pray 4 ur fellow neigbour u there sitting and typing rubbish if u don’t know what to say why can’t you sit and hold your lips……folayimika. I pray for you God will locate you to that man of your choice inj but you need to move closer to God cos is the only one who is worthy to erase all you shame put urself in fasting and seek Gods face he will open that door for u read psalm 102 soon you will share this testimony of breakthrough!! Stayblessed

    Reply

  11. ajokesogo
    Feb 16, 2013 @ 09:31:42

    Great story dear! Love your work!

    Reply

  12. oscarpoems
    Feb 16, 2013 @ 10:35:21

    Good storyline. This should encourage someone

    Reply

  13. Nonye
    Feb 16, 2013 @ 10:42:34

    Good work Toyin,
    u ll be surprised most ladies actually do this. For crying out loud, who are u impressing? Same pple dt want to impress u too. For our info, some men only show love during valentine’s day & ladies display gifts to make u tink their man is d best or they are having it hot. They might be crying every night cos of dt man. It cud surprise u dt dt same man cud ve planned same kind of gifts for other ladies apart from u. For a real man, every day is valentine for his woman. Not abt val’s day, it shud be abt finding d right man for everyday.

    Reply

  14. Anita
    Feb 16, 2013 @ 13:38:24

    Impressive!

    Reply

  15. Kwami Adadevoh
    Feb 16, 2013 @ 15:00:50

    Well done Toyin. Just ignore Abu and Tomisin

    Reply

  16. afronuts
    Feb 17, 2013 @ 10:41:21

    Lesson learnt from the story – when there’s no one to love during valentine, love yourself.

    Reply

  17. abe temitope
    Feb 18, 2013 @ 09:10:02

    At least she will make her self happy if no 1 does. But life no be competition o !!! Toyin!!! 9ce work but d story has not ended o…

    Reply

  18. chimdi
    Feb 18, 2013 @ 14:52:07

    Well done sis,nice one

    Reply

  19. kikiowoileowo
    Feb 19, 2013 @ 17:58:16

    Is this an advertisement or something. you wont stop cracking me walahi. Beautiful writeup.

    Reply

  20. modupsneb
    Feb 14, 2014 @ 06:25:00

    I feel her pain,and its really good she did wat she did,and like I alwaz say,’a girl should do wat a girl shd do’. Loool…

    Reply

  21. segun
    Feb 14, 2014 @ 08:21:40

    Dat’s wat it’s all about! Lol!!!

    Reply

  22. tessadoghor
    Sep 16, 2014 @ 17:42:19

    I never did that. I never will.
    N100,000. I have what to do with the money.
    Not for buying gifts.
    If I was tempted. I would just buy a bunch of white roses. 12 of them and a simple small box of chocolates
    That cannot be too expensive.

    Reply

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