So He Finally Proposed and I Didn’t Say Yes

This was the first write-up I published on the internet and the second story/article I ever wrote. It was originally posted on zebbook.com……decided to share it for those who missed it.

she said no

Jide and I met over two years ago; we were introduced by Zino my soyoyo friend. I call her Soyoyo partly because of her very fair skin and the fact that you will find her at any of the happening spots in Lagos, when you open any fashion magazine or blog you are sure to find her in the pages for ‘’who wore what to which party’’. I on the other hand happen to be a very reserved person who wouldn’t go to a party unless it was my family’s or a very close friend’s party. The day I met Jide, I had been planning to spend the whole day at the Cinema, and when I told Zino, she had joked that I was the only one she knew who goes to the Cinema and spends the whole day there seeing movie after movie. She however told me to drop her at our Tailor’s place before I leave for my marathon movies. She was going to nother party that afternoon and wanted to collect the dress she was wearing for the party.

So we got there and I decided to drop in so I could say hello to Sope our Tailor. Immediately we entered Zino screamed and hugged this guy that was standing at the window close. I was straining my neck to see who it was that my friend was showering such attention on but Zino had completely obscured my view, finally she let go and literarily dragged the guy to where I was standing at the entrance.

”Salewa meet Jide my sure paddy’’ she said

So I shook his outstretched hand and said hello while checking him out. I liked what I saw completely, he was just my kind of guy, tall, a little bit fair, and with a perfect set of teeth and to cap it all a lovely smile. I couldn’t help noticing his shoulders, it was so obvious that he visits the gym regularly; the muscles were so sexy that inwardly I licked my lips. ”Wow” I said before I could stop myself

“Hi Salewa, so what is wowing you’’, he asked grinning

‘’Never mind’’ I replied hastily withdrawing my hand

“Jide was my very good friend in school then o, but he just forgot me and left for the UK without even telling me. Sope is his cousin anyway and I met her through him.” Zino said breaking the silence

”So how are you doing’’ she added dragging him inside the shop, I however coughed to get Zino’s attention I told her I was leaving and said goodbye to Jide mumbling something about seeing him around. Zino laughed in that throaty way of hers and said

”Jide you would think she had a business appointment with the way she was rushing right’’?

”Na lie o, she is actually going to spend some miserable time alone at the Cinema’’

Jide then smiled and said;

”That’s great, it means we can actually go together, I was planning to see a movie myself today, maybe we could go together and keep each other’s company’’. So we went to the movies together, became friends and then lovers.

******

That was two years, five months and six days ago, after all this time that seemed like eternity to me he just proposed this afternoon. What was so shocking is that I hadn’t told him yes, instead I said I needed some time alone. He just returned from visiting his mum and siblings in the UK this afternoon and I had gone to the airport to pick him. He had only been away for three weeks but I have missed him so badly, I was excited going to the airport to pick him, I couldn’t wait to spend some time alone with him. Jide and I had a mutually satisfying relationship and I could say that in the two years we have been together we have never had a major fight, He is so calm, matured, and attentive and had never given me any reason to doubt his faithfulness. So as I sighted him in the arrival lounge, I ran towards him and just as I was giving him my trademark hug; the one where I press my body firmly to his, take his hands and bring it just above my bum and at the same time tip-toeing to give him a kiss on the cheeks he went down on one knee and held out the ring. I remember I felt shock, a rush of happiness and also bitterness at the same time

‘’it’s so beautiful’’ I said bursting into tears despite the fact that I could sense the crowd gathering around us.

In between the tears I drew him up, his hand was still outstretched but I didn’t collect the ring, I only told him we will talk later and left him there with his hand outstretched and his mouth wide open.

Looking back, I think I know why I did that. I have gone through so much emotional torture in the past year waiting, wishing and willing him to propose, almost all my friends were married; even Zino had gotten married two months ago. He tells me he loves me all the time, he checks with me before he makes any plans about his future, he even told his mum about me and had given her my number but all
these were not enough to reassure me because I didn’t have the ring on my finger yet. That was very important for me, I needed to post that OMG’’ look holding my finger in front of me on my BB profile and facebook, I needed to read all those ”congratulations girl’’ comments from jealous single friends and more importantly I needed it for security it signifies but Jide had refused to do this. I lost count of how many times I typed the letters (waiting for him to propose) on Google, the web pages I read weren’t encouraging either, they all hinted that if he is not proposing despite every indices for marriage being okay you should get out of the relationship. But leaving the relationship was definitely out of the question, Jide is my soul mate and I can’t even imagine being with another man.

*****

I believe Jide was aware of how desperate I was, I even summoned enough courage to bring it up a couple of times and both times it had been disastrous.I remember the time I went to visit him and after serving him Poundo Yam and steaming hot Ogbono soup garnished with Shaki, Gizzard, Stock Fish, Liver, Pomo, Kidney…name it. I had laid my head quietly on his chest consciously avoiding his stomach
since I had just overfed him. He had started rubbing my shoulders as was characteristic of him and I had said softly.

‘’Babajide, I want to talk to you’’

”I am listening” he had said sounding so alert and I could already sense he knew whatever I was going to say was serious for me to have called his full name.

So I said,

”’When are you coming to see my parents’’?

”What’s that”? he had said Without removing his hand from my shoulders

”Are you the one that would teach me what to do”? ”Do you mean I am not man enough to make decisions so you have to make them for me’’ he continued in a very calm and controlled manner

”Besides are you the one that will propose to me or I will propose to you’’ he added

I remained there in his arms with my head still on his chest not saying a word but I was furious and also embarrased, although I tried not to let him sense either.

‘‘Sora e o Salewa’’ he said on a final note signalling that the discussion had ended. We had moved on as if nothing happen that night but his reaction had hurt me deeply.

That however hadn’t stopped me from trying a second time, this time around it had been through a text message I sent to his phone and throughout that day he didn’t call me and never picked my calls, then the next day he had called me to say he intentionally didn’t pick my calls because the text I sent annoyed him, that was the last time I mentioned it but I didn’t stop hoping or wishing, I was so tired of being
single and was under a lot of pressure from family and friends, it was mostly uncalled for anyway considering I am only 26, but my parents believed since I was working that was the next thing to do. The fact that every girl in my age bracket and in my social circle was either wearing an engagement ring or a wedding band did not also help matters. I believe I even got to a point where I was getting depressed and angry. I tried so much to rid myself of this because I knew it just wasn’t healthy. It got so bad that when I see a girl spotting an engagement ring, I actually hiss inside and wish her boyfriend was a very horrible person who will beat her when they are married.

There were also many times when I thought Babajide was going to do it. There was the time he told me we should spend a weekend in Dubai, I was so sure this was it and was even dancing “Azonto’’ in my mind. The fact that it had been a surprise also made me very confident that this was the proposal trip. I had gone to his place to spend the weekend with him and he had brought out the tickets saying;

”Shales let’s go spend the weekend in Dubai’’

‘’Yes’’ ! I had exclaimed almost immediately, I wasn’t even going to pretend to be a prudent girlfriend on this one I told myself, my brain was already buzzing on just how he was going to propose and what kind of stone will be on the ring.

So we went, he had picked the window seat for me and we were even in first class, I was going crazy with anticipation and almost died from expectant joy when after the plane took off he dipped his hand into his pocket, brought out something and said;

”Shales baby, close your eyes and open your mouth for me”

In my mind I was thinking “Oh my God, my baby is so ingenious”

When he slipped his fingers into my mouth I frowned immediately and slowly removed the object from
my mouth, there on my palm was a bar of Snickers, my favourite chocolate but at
that moment I wasn’t happy to see it. My first impulse was to stone him with it
but I managed to smile instead.

”Thought you will love to have it, why are you looking sad’’? He asked

‘’Nothing” I had replied,” it just wasn’t what I was expecting”.

He had laughed in his super sexy way revealing the shiny white teeth I loved so much and said ‘’What were you expecting? The key to Central Bank vault’’ and I had also laughed although I was feeling quite sad.

My spirit was down for the rest of the flight but I managed to pull myself together and told myself that perhaps he was planning to do it durin our stay in Dubai. It never happened, even while on the return flight I was still hoping that it would happen ,but it was just that; a mere hope. That was over six months ago and today when I least expected it and at a time I was already preaching patience to myself it happened.

Interestingly, exactly four weeks ago I decided to find peace in the word of God and started coming to terms with my situation, I concluded that it was only a matter of time and that Jide was a wonderful, caring and thoughtful man and so he must have his own reasons for waiting this long. That’s why although I knew why I treated Jide the way I did this afternoon, it was a very unchristian thing to do. I wouldn’t have walked out on him, I just needed to clear my head but the confused look on his face had annoyed me, the look was like ”isn’t this what you have always wanted” and that is annoying and wicked
because It tells me he knew I had been suffering all this while but he decided to allow me to go through all the pain.

*****

Anyway, as soon as I finish writing this I am calling him, he has been calling me since that time and has even sent countless messages to my phone, he said he was confused about my behaviour and was sorry if it was something he had done. I love Jide madly and there is no other man I want to be with, besides the ring is so damn gorgeous. So I am dialling his number now, I want my ring. Interestingly I won’t post it on social media, I will wait for my friends to see it and go like “oh wow, when did it happen’’? And I will flash them this uninterested look of
‘’what’s the big deal, I always knew he was going to marry me”.

Once we have made up with a big proposal kiss, I will start the planning immediately in full force, I have to get out my organiser, start visiting wedding blogs, start wedding dress shopping, start my wedding diet, sit Jide down and discuss the wedding budget, start getting those MC, event planner, caterer business cards………oh, I also must not forget to decide on the wedding theme, bridesmaid dresses, the………

 

 

photo credit: google images

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Adetoun
    Apr 01, 2013 @ 20:48:06

    Nice write up. Love this.

    Reply

  2. olabisi
    Apr 01, 2013 @ 20:56:41

    Shakara oloje

    Reply

  3. Rubbie
    Apr 06, 2013 @ 20:21:41

    Na real shakara,enjoy ur writeup

    Reply

  4. ibk
    Apr 15, 2013 @ 21:50:51

    I’m sorry for you. I hope it would not have been too late when you go back to him. You just gave him the greatest embarrasment of his life even in the public. Anyway, what is yours will not go past you, no matter what. But don’t do that again o, that is my elderly piece of advice for you. Nice wrtie-up.

    Reply

  5. abluckyi
    Jun 04, 2013 @ 07:32:14

    beautifully written. This yanga get part two ohhhh.

    Reply

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