Some Men Make You Want to Hurt Them…..




Some men make you want to hurt them; men like my husband….

To him, he is first Tomide’s dad before he is my husband.


His twitter profile reads……… Thinker, Lawyer, Tomide’s dad”


His Facebook profile name was Tomide’s dad. Going through his albums on Facebook, you would never guess he is married. The pictures were either of him or of Tomide. You wouldn’t find a single picture of me anywhere.



His life and our marriage revolves around Tomide. He is the one that he spends seventy percent of his income on. My husband only bought me a car because I gave him a son. During the pregnancy; he believed BRT and Danfo were good enough for me. It was because of Tomide that I got the first opportunity to travel out of the country,

“My son is too precious to be born in this stupid country, let’s arrange for you to have the child in America”. 

It was because of Tomide that I had to be a stay at home mom. “I don’t want my son in a day care.” “No one can take care of him like his mother”


I had insisted I couldn’t be a housewife and he had promised to give me money to start a business of my choice. Five million naira later and a promise of more I agreed to quit my job. I kept the money in a fixed deposit account and chose to sit at home taking care of Tomide. My husband never asked why I didn’t start a business, he was happy to see his son have a full time nanny.



I have no illusions; Tomide was the reason he married me. I am a baby factory, nothing more.

I still remember how my journey into baby mamahood started.

I had been spending a weekend with him like I usually did; I hadn’t been myself that particular weekend and he had noticed.


Baby, what’s wrong with you?

You’ve been quite sluggish of late, abi I don score goal?

“Which goal?” I had asked raising an eyebrow

“Do you want to score a goal? Did you not say you are not interested in getting married for the next five years?”

“I know I said that but I didn’t really mean it oo, pregnancy changes a lot of things you know. If you get belle now, the story go change. In fact I will marry you before the end of this month.”

“Ehn ehn, really? congrats nigbayen ooo, because I’m pregnant.”

I kicked myself inwardly the moment the words left my lips. No one was supposed to know I was pregnant. It was a pregnancy destined for termination. I had no wish to have a child for the world’s greatest loafer. The action that led to the pregnancy itself had been a mistake, a madness induced by excess alcohol intake.

“Are you kidding me?”

 Say you are joking, I told myself but I found myself confirming it instead.

“I’m not kidding.”

“You mean you are pregnant for me?” He asked pointing a finger towards his chest.

“Yes”, I replied almost choking on the lie.

That confirmation changed our relationship, I got an engagement ring the next day and two months after we were married.

Perhaps, I would have summoned the courage to tell him he wasn’t my baby’s father if everything hadn’t happened so quickly. I never had a chance to take a breath.



Being a baby factory or feeling like one is no fun. Tomide is Kosi’s world. I have a tiny corner there just because Tomide existed. Some days I feel so tempted to tell him that Tomide isn’t his son especially on days when he makes me feel like Tomide’s nanny instead of his mother.

“Why is my son’s feeding bottle on the dining table?”

“Why hasn’t his cloth been changed all day?”

“Did you buy the toy I asked you to buy?”

“How many times have you changed his diapers today?”

He would go on and on irritating me to no end.

I would want to scream, “relax oga, he is not even your son”. But I never did perhaps out of pity for him or just out of plain fear of what he will do to me.


Sometimes I would laugh inwardly when he bragged about how much he and his son had in common.

He would tell a friend;

“Na my forehead, nose, mouth and eyes my boy carry. He resembles me in everything. I won this one oo totally. Maybe I would give this Iya the next one, she can decide to have a girl if she likes; this one is mine.”


Sometimes he would turn to me and say;

“Did you see how my boy kicked that ball? He will be a good football player like his dad.”

“Did you see how he turned up his lips just now?”

“Mum said I used to do that as a kid.” He would add grinning happily.

I would nod and summon a fake smile. I would later wonder why nature decided to play such a huge joke on men, a woman would always be sure that a child was hers but men on the other hand accept whatever we present to them as theirs.


Tomide shared absolutely no resemblance to Kosi, their nose and forehead might be of the same shape but I was sure there were millions of other people who had the same type of forehead and nose.  I knew for certain that Kosi’s blindness would be cured if he saw Tomide and his biological father together. My son is the split image of Setan. I don’t like it but there was no doubt about it. I could only hope that they would have different behavioral patterns.



It is not my wish to tell Kosi he has been wasting his time and money for the last three years but Kosi tempts me so much. Each time he treats me like a machine that produces children and takes care of the house, I feel like screaming the truth just to hurt him. I have tried to keep myself from saying it for three long years but I feel one day I won’t be able to restrain myself.

I fear that a day would come when I would scream it out; he would go pale in shock and would ask me if I was saying it just to hurt him or if it was true, he would point at Tomide and say, “he is not my son?” I would nod, grab my son and run. Five million naira plus the more that will come should go a long way in taking care of a woman and her child or would it not? One can’t be too sure these days.


photo credit: google images


43 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. degreatest2
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 17:33:40

    Hmmmmmmm… what a story? who is to blame here, even i am confused!


  2. omoyelu
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 17:35:40

    Too bad,it is well nice write up shaz.


  3. Abdullahi Aborode
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 18:11:50

    Wow…Toyin this is brilliant! These things really do happen, na to go do DNA sef if my madam don born sure pass, b4 I make a fool of myself


  4. yhindus
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 18:47:26

    Wow Wow Wow! This is something! Well I hope ur runaway plan works! Its gonna be an ADVENTURE *dimple*


  5. fabunmi tolani
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 19:10:28

    This is shocking o, i so much pity men at times. But really men these days do behave dat way, they act more like a father than a husband. Nice one, keep it up.


  6. Big guy
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 19:13:13

    Women!!! God created the world and rested, God created man and rested but since the day God unfortunately created the woman, neither God nor man has had a moment of rest. See her complaining for saddling the poor dude with a bastard? May God punish you, ashewo oshi.


    • dazeetah
      Apr 17, 2013 @ 22:54:04

      Calm down oga. Its a story. Even if it was his Son, he wuld still have treated her the same way.


    • Anonymous
      May 22, 2013 @ 17:16:01

      U must be really sad abt being on earth or more like seeing women. As u r wiser than d wisest or don’t men act in such callous manner n worse? It’s just a story on wat happens in real life ( which shouldn’t tho)


  7. BluePaet
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 19:50:15

    I like this.


  8. Olori
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 20:01:26

    Nice write up. A guy once said 95% of first borns are really the husband’s. Na wa o. Do we have a 2nd part to this story? Please, do. Thanks


  9. Icon Oreoluwa Oluwatobi
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 20:56:26

    The title in the first place got me…lovely 1 dere


  10. Olumide Akinwumi-Oke
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 22:20:39

    Hmmmm ok o


  11. oscarpoems
    Apr 17, 2013 @ 22:41:16

    This is 1 that I like, and will share right away. You wow me Toyin, God bless you


  12. saymalcolm
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 00:13:09

    I love the story and the narrative style. Good work!


  13. MideJune
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 05:28:36

    Men are in trouble with all dis ladies oooo…kai. Na to shine eye well weLl ooooo….Men sha dey always carry last wen it comes to woman matter.


  14. joshadeshina
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 05:32:47

    Beautiful write up but scary, I imagined myself in Kosi’s position and it gets scarier. God help all men, most of us are the smartest fools.


  15. Joy
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 07:04:37



  16. Vivacious
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 07:07:18

    Indeed!!!! Creative!


  17. olabisi
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 08:44:49

    Bastard in the building…. Sumtimx men deserve to be treated dis way… But sha I can’t ooooo… I go don purge am out…


  18. EpheeMartins
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 09:03:00

    My thoughts.”Will her thought pattern be different if he treated her nicely or would it change the fact that the son is not his ?”Oh,I forgot,its fiction……brilliant.


  19. famuyideolawale
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 11:38:30

    Nice one Toyin, my comment is just on the first part of the story, “His life and our marriage revolves around Tomide. He
    is the one that he spends seventy percent of his
    income on” this is a huge mistake most men makes. For me my first responsibility is to my wife, my kids are secondary, I will love them and be a great dad, BUT, my wife comes first. Because, before d kids came, it was just me and their mother, and after 25yrs when they leave, it will still be my wife and I.


    • Olori
      Apr 18, 2013 @ 20:16:42

      U be correct guy jare,lol! And u won’t help train another’s man son before u knw it,do i hear a big AMEN? AMEN!!! lol


  20. zebbook
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 12:43:01

    Getting used to your unusual thought pattern in creativity and fiction writing Toyin, another brilliant out-of-the-box yet everyday story delivered with the deftness of a pro.


  21. abe temitope
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 14:56:23

    This girl na apayan!!!!


  22. ololade
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 17:47:52

    Na wa o,dis one too short na,I was settling down to d end of d whole thing.
    U nailed it though.congrats


  23. wale babatunde
    Apr 18, 2013 @ 20:23:27

    Nice story.

    But I actually think, Toyin turned the table around on the issue of Child before spouse in this case. My little experience & observations says, this is what most women do. It get to a certain point or age that women “put” their children before their husband. At least I’ve noticed this act a lot among mid-40s to early 50s mothers.

    Anyway, great story and who says the story is fiction because Toyinfab; the author did not say it fiction. *smiles*


  24. bukola
    Apr 19, 2013 @ 12:36:31

    Kudos girlfriend, your wife should come first followed by the children or should know how to balance it.


  25. How To Make A Little Extra Money
    Apr 19, 2013 @ 21:40:09

    Hello, I check your new stuff regularly. Your writing style is awesome, keep it up!


  26. monebi modupe
    Apr 21, 2013 @ 05:41:17

    Dis toyin girl is something else.just imagine.I don’t blame d guy sha.some guys are just like dat.dy so love their kids and forget it was d woman so sure,one day,she wil spill it out.toyin,toyin,toyinku ise opolo…….and dats how so many bastards av been raised all over d world.I so agree wit d yoruba proverb dat says “only a woman knows who d father of her child is”


  27. kunleD
    Apr 21, 2013 @ 10:44:48

    Lovely writeup. The man got what he deserved, nothing less. I just hope the day mrs proponent decides to open up, he doesn’t go violent as he’s seen her more of a property than a companion. The execution of the stoyu: Immense.


  28. Ezitonye Peace
    Apr 21, 2013 @ 19:24:17

    great story,but seriously?d depth of a womans mischeviousnesss who can know?


  29. odunbaku temitayo
    Apr 22, 2013 @ 17:40:12

    my lady, u ve been sleeping around. Dt is not good enough.


  30. Michael
    Apr 23, 2013 @ 14:13:17

    Great imagination n delivery


  31. make money online work from home
    May 05, 2013 @ 15:42:41

    This article offers clear idea for the new visitors of blogging, that really how to do blogging.


  32. Dami
    May 07, 2013 @ 21:36:46

    Silly, naughty, unfaithful woman…why wont you leave in the shadows!


  33. Trackback: My Wife is Another Woman by Kolade Gboyega @newnaija | Toyinfabs
  34. kolawole
    May 22, 2013 @ 09:20:03

    Now who is abusing who? Lobatan. Both to me are wrong. She was first unfaithful, why give someone’s son to another man? oh cos of his money I forgot. If she had left him, no cheating.
    Yes the guy a fool, and completely wrong for how he treats a woman. Overall, they are both wicked none of them is innocent. No sentimentality here.


  35. Vee
    May 25, 2013 @ 09:11:18

    Some short stories end and you want to know what happened next, this is one of them, nice one!


  36. thirdpart365
    Jun 08, 2013 @ 03:22:02

    Well well well. What have we here?

    A man who isn’t a father because he has never been a husband.

    A woman who could have been a mother and wife but is neither.

    A child who may never be a son beautse he belongs to no other.

    What’s funny is, Kosi didn’t ask why she didn’t start the business and you’re content in the thought that he doesn’t mind. Sweetheart, you haven’t known ‘a man and his money’. Whether he knows where the money is and has taken precautionary steps to forestall your runaway and so on, is another matter entirely. Kosi may well be emphasizing the very thing he knows ‘Tomide ain’t mine and this whose be like. . . . “Kosi don’t even know” by pointing out all the di-similarities between he and Tomide.

    Toyin mi. . . When I read such stories, I pray that the Lord help me to a great husband and father to my wife and kids, and to honour Him in my family!
    Oya run come collect hug. . . You rock. God bless you!


  37. thirdpart365
    Jun 08, 2013 @ 03:25:48

    I just noticed my typos. . . *irk much*


  38. Babatunde Ladejobi
    Jun 09, 2013 @ 22:23:47



  39. tessadoghor
    Sep 16, 2014 @ 17:58:46


    Is that a life?


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