Not So Happily Married …. Episode Seven

Couple_ToyinFABBB

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“The days ran a bit too fast abi Boye?” I asked as the flight attendant announced that we were about to take off.

“Yeah it did.” she replied closing her eyes

Something about her was different.  It started the morning after our reconciliation. She seemed lethargic, angry and bothered. Perhaps I was naïve to have imagined everything would just go back to normal. I thought looking at her taut face. There was something distant about her. The sex on our reconciliation night had been great but that too had changed afterwards. It became almost clinical. She would always insist that we do the missionary and that I stay in for a few minutes after climax. She would also refuse to clean up preferring to lie there on her back with her hips wide apart.

It was weird especially since she would only give an indulgent smile whenever I ask. My confusion brought about a lot of “what ifs”. What if she was being too desperate to get pregnant which of course would be my fault. What if she was finally beginning to get angry about what happened between Bisade and I?

The words of an old friend kept coming to mind. He believed the worst set of people were those who forgave too easily and too early. He believed most of them never truly forgave but were merely trying to push the grievances to the deeper recesses of their mind. He would go on to say that such people were not only dangerous but also capable of revenge when the anger finally comes to fore.

I glanced away a sudden fear enveloping my mind. What if she hasn’t forgiven me?

******

Somehow I felt constantly drained. The strange thing was I loved feeling like that. My emotions were in a quandary or should I say my hormones suddenly had a mind of their own. Could one possibly feel symptoms of a four day old pregnancy? I couldn’t help wondering. At least it was only four days since we had our first un-protected sex as a married couple so if I was pregnant it couldn’t be more than four days old. Why then do I feel pregnant and what does it even mean to feel pregnant? I mused.

Common sense told me I couldn’t possibly be exhibiting symptoms so early. The last time I was pregnant, I didn’t even know for two months so how could I know in four days. But still, I enjoyed the feeling. I wanted to share it with Jite but somehow I knew he wouldn’t get it and I believed his negativity could jinx my pregnancy. I am not even sure if I could call it pregnancy yet. Anyone could easily dismiss it. I could imagine Jite saying he didn’t agree that my stomach was a tad bigger and that he doesn’t think the light headedness I feel could have anything to do with pregnancy. I was sure he would also disagree that my palms were pale and so I kept shut.

There was a lot to think about and that worsened my sour demeanor. I still didn’t know who Skipper was although I had a strong suspicion that it had to be Bisade. I had thought it interesting that there was no contact named Bisade or Abisade or anything similar on Jite’s phone. There was also Boladale….and the fact that I wanted to deal with her. For that I had an idea. Let her stew for a few weeks, talk to her and pretend I was okay with her pregnancy, get her to tell me the identity of the colleague and take it from there.

****

I am certain Omoboye’s behavior can’t be normal but I didn’t know anywhere else to seek help except Google. It was three weeks since we returned from our honeymoon and things seem to be going from bad to worse. She walked around the house like she was carrying a three month pregnancy; she was even spitting, constantly rubbing her stomach and throwing up. That should be normal and exciting only I think it is weird considering she had her monthly period a week after we got back – something she had been quite determined to hide from me.

That too wouldn’t have been too strange if not for how it happened. I had wanted to make love to her; she had been quite un-responsive and had said she was tired. I asked if she was in her menstrual period and she had denied it. I couldn’t sleep for a long time after that. I had felt it while touching her – I had felt the sanitary pad. I had enough experience with women to know it when I touch it so why would she lie about that? I had then watched her closely for the next two days and discovered she was truly menstruating and was intentionally doing all she could to hide it. That was a grave cause for concern.

I would be the happiest man alive if it turns out she is pregnant but her behavior was disturbing. My fears grew after I asked her to take a pregnancy test and she declined.

I kept wondering if she felt she needed to fake a pregnancy. I decided it was best to do some research to help me understand what was happening and so I turned to Google.

“Can a married woman fake a pregnancy? Having symptoms but menstruating and insisting on not taking a pregnancy test.”

I knew the words were too long but I was hoping someone somewhere would have had a reason to ask a similar question. Typical of Google, there were so many links to open. I opened all the links on the first page. As I hoped, there were lots of people who had asked similar questions. There were web sites where people tried to answer those questions. I read through almost every answer and considered most of them useless until I saw a particular one in response to a question about a woman faking a pregnancy.

“I think she may be somatizing. She is probably desperate for a child and the emotional upheaval is getting to her. It might not be that she is faking it. It’s a disorder kind of. See a doctor to understand it better”

There was something intriguing about the word “Somatizing” I had no idea what it meant but was sure Google could help.

******

It was the third week since we got back from Zanzibar and I believed my stomach was getting bigger although Jite didn’t think so. He wanted me to do a test so we could confirm if I was pregnant or not. Truth is I was scared to do the test because I was afraid it could turn out negative. My period started a week after we got back but I didn’t tell Jite. I didn’t want him to tell me what I already fear; that I may not be pregnant. I like to think that I am one of the few women that will be pregnant and still menstruate.

Somehow I knew I wasn’t pregnant yet I loved walking like I was pregnant, turning my face up at almost everything from the smell of fried beef to Jite’s perfume. He looked confused most of the time and would bury his head in his ipad. Sometimes I would wonder if I was scaring him or if he thought I was developing a mental illness. He would look at me when he thought I wasn’t taking notice and it was not the lover’s look. It was a look of concern or alarm. He didn’t talk about his feelings the same way I haven’t talked about Skipper. There were times we would be sitting together and he would walk away to make or receive calls. I would trail him with my eyes and later check his phone to see who the caller was. I was never really surprised to realize it was Skipper yet I didn’t ask him. I still tried hard to bring the memory of who Skipper was to fore but it remained elusive. I could have asked him but I didn’t.

****

I wasn’t prepared for what somatization turned out to be. After four hours of going over several articles, I was sufficiently scared. Who knew words like Somatization even existed but it was the only thing that explained Omoboye’s behavior. After reading some of the articles I was left in no doubt that my wife was not pregnant and she wasn’t faking the symptoms either. She was having them quite alright only it was her mind that was making them happen and not her body.

According to Google Somatization is when you exhibit physical reactions to illnesses that do not exist medically. I didn’t really get alarmed until I saw something about “undifferentiated somatoform disorder” and one of the examples listed was pregnancy symptoms. It made sense, she was anxious about being pregnant, desperate even. She was adding weight,  throwing up, eating excessively and was looking pale and still had her period and was refusing to take a test. It had to be the undifferentiated somatoform disorder. I was sure of that after four hours of web surfing. Trouble was how do I get help for her?

The treatment described was even scarier and sounded long term but I believed she would be fine if she could talk to a psychiatrist only I wasn’t sure if such existed in Nigeria. I got the information I needed on the website of a high brow hospital in Lagos only there were two more issues. One I would have to ask Mom for financial help. Secondly, I didn’t know how to tell Omoboye I believed she might have a mental disorder.

From what I read I knew I could also help her psychologically. I knew it could be because she feels pressured to get pregnant so she could make us both forget about the baby that was aborted. I knew I had to find a way to allay her fears. I had to find a way to make her relax. I decided I needed to assure her that I would still love her even if we didn’t have children.

*****

“Baby, I noticed you have not been feeling well.  Don’t you think we should see a Doctor?” Jite said one morning while driving me to my make up studio.

“I’m fine Jite; there is no need for that.” I replied

“You are not fine ooo Boye. You keep throwing up, If not that I’m hoping you are not pregnant yet I would have said you were pregnant.”

“You are hoping I am not pregnant? That’s so good to hear coming from the man that almost chopped my head off for aborting a pregnancy.”

“I mean it Omoboye. I will like for us to have a whole year to ourselves. No pregnancy, no children. I mean we could use this first year as a honeymoon period, just fun no stress. Do you get my point?”

“No Jite I don’t get your point. In fact I don’t know what you are talking about. If you really believed that why am I just hearing about it? Why have we been making love all this while without protection? And don’t even tell me that was why you used protection on our wedding night because we both know that wasn’t why.”

“Okay, Omoboye I agree it’s a recent thought. I have been doing a lot of reading and I have realized there are usually a lot of issues in the first year of marriage and somehow children add some sort of complications. We are going through a lot already; imagine how it would be when you are pregnant. You know all those hormones and all will only make things worse. Then giving birth again would bring a new kind of stress, we would be parents and somehow lose an intimacy we are still trying to find.”

“Jite, I know all that but don’t you think this is coming too late? What if I am already pregnant?”

“Baby we can find out, he replied. I think you should do a test.”

“No, Jite. I am not ready for that and let’s drop this issue. We will talk about it later.” I replied busying myself with my phone.

Wonders they say will never end, the same Jite that was so sad about losing an unborn baby he almost gave me depression. Why don’t I believe this new found theory?

A crazy thought entered my head that perhaps Bisade was pregnant already and he was hoping I wouldn’t get pregnant so he could divorce me after a while. Was he using something? I wondered remembering an article I once read about hormonal birth control pills used by men. Could Jite be using such? Is that why I haven’t gotten pregnant yet? My heart pounded.

“Jite is Bisade pregnant?” I asked before I could stop myself.

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36 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. roffyflaky
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 07:32:13

    Oh no, she’s not so smart afterall….she could av copied skipper’s num……. 9c write up!

    Reply

  2. famuyideolawale
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 07:37:43

    Am offended Toyin, when I got the notification of a new episode in my inbox, I could not wait to read, why? SKIPPER!!!. I thought the person behind skipper will be revealed…alas, you had to make me more curious by not even talk about skipper. *sobbing*. Lovely as usual but plsssss, who is skipper. Lol.

    Reply

  3. Seun Odukoya
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 07:38:54

    Sigh.

    Long and deep sigh.

    See how we complicate things unnecessarily for ourselves?

    Just ask – freaking A.S.K a question!

    Don’t mind me. It’s the power in your writing.

    Nice. Going.

    Reply

  4. enajyte
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 07:40:03

    Oh lawdy lawdy lawd…*developing amnesia till next Wednesday

    Reply

  5. Oloriruby
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 07:42:48

    Beautiful write up. Am suspecting skipper is Boye’s galfriend

    Reply

  6. Akintayo
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 07:52:17

    9ce 1, u jst gave me anoder piece to read about and SOMATAZATION it is. Have been reading alots on multiple disorder, but have never come across this word. Good 1 dear. Time 4 me to surf. Ciao.

    Reply

  7. moskeda
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 08:00:03

    Now we have to wait till next week to find out. Why Toyin?!!!
    I liked that you entered the minds of the two of them here. Well written

    Reply

  8. cocosgist
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 08:01:42

    Ode ni e!!!

    Reply

  9. Anit
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 09:28:16

    Seriously dis episode does not impress me,nd she is not smart @ all, shld ve copied skipper’s no. Well sha………….lets c

    Reply

  10. Timayin
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 09:33:55

    Wow! Dat question just escaped her lips like dat.

    Reply

  11. olajumoke
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 09:42:31

    I hope Boladele is nt skipper,friends can’t be trusted as such.I really wish this couple communicate more so as to solve several of their problems.Can’t wait to read wat happens wen she ask if Bisade is pregnant,nd really wnted to knw who skipper is.Kudos T…..

    Reply

  12. @kolawole_john
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 09:48:18

    Cwazy now .Toyin, marriage is getting scary.

    Reply

  13. elsieisy
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 10:01:12

    Chei! This suspense isn’t nice. Pls post next episode now!!!!!!!!! 😦

    Reply

  14. Clarion
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 10:28:05

    Haaa! Lobatan!!!!! I’m actually begining to think omoboye has some issues. Seriously.

    Reply

  15. Yetundeadebiaye
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 10:43:13

    Oma dewa ga o! She’s giving herself unnecessary heartache ke? Ask away anyways! TY! Respect always!

    Reply

  16. yougeecash
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 10:47:10

    Aha! It keeps getting interesting. Can’t wait for next week!

    Reply

  17. Olayinka
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 11:00:14

    Chai! Dis is really d best read I’v not regretted devoting my time to in a long time. D twists are just incredible. Come, Toyin, if ur mission is to take some of us down wit suspence, u better get anoda plan on line cos me, i’m ready for u.
    Nice job babe..

    Reply

  18. maxxokoedion
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 11:46:53

    boye definitely has unresolved emotional issues…their lives together will never be devoid of pain.

    Reply

  19. herbby
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 12:20:52

    A cup of coffee and sum biscuits……..Not So Happily Married na ni………mi gbatun e.

    Reply

  20. aunty Hotstuff
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 12:34:37

    What is Skipper is Bolade? 😀

    Reply

  21. pgent
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 14:31:23

    i’ve learnt more medical terms 2day but seriously it’s looking as if boye get scon scon 4 head,d way she do reason is pissing me off as a guy

    Reply

  22. E.
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 14:38:22

    skipper better not be Bolanle or watever her name is o…. lovely write up….

    Reply

  23. Tomisin Ajiboye
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 15:35:30

    This is getting somatizing…

    Reply

  24. oscarpoems
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 16:54:16

    This Toyin ehn! I’ll kuku wait till Wednesday

    Reply

  25. zhane
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 16:55:35

    Nice one again,boye have jabo

    Reply

  26. besimpleneyo
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 18:08:20

    Hmmmn!!! Toyin with Somatization.. am still lovin it!

    Reply

  27. amaeze
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 21:58:57

    Ghen Ghen !!!

    Reply

  28. Uzo
    Aug 14, 2013 @ 22:21:37

    I think skipper is a male friend. Maybe I am right maybe I’m wrong.

    Reply

  29. Olufunmbi
    Aug 15, 2013 @ 08:40:10

    Oh no! But Y? So many why(s)………. Why Boye just asking if Bisade is pregnant? Why did Jite come up with the idea of nt getting pregnant now? Why are they both acting up? Why did Toyin have τ̲̅ȍ stop there? Why do I̶̲̥̅̊ have τ̲̅ȍ wait till next week for the next episode? But why?

    Reply

  30. tessa
    Aug 15, 2013 @ 10:30:27

    So many fear?
    God has not given me a spirit of fear o!

    Good research!

    Reply

  31. tessa
    Aug 15, 2013 @ 10:31:00

    So many fears?
    God has not given me a spirit of fear o!

    Good research!

    Reply

  32. mz bhii
    Aug 15, 2013 @ 13:37:22

    I can actually bet it, that the skipper in question is Boladale, Omoboye’s best friend. * can’t wait to find out tho***

    Reply

    • Ayotunde
      Aug 16, 2013 @ 09:22:06

      A very nice piece….u shd write a block buster. Kindly update us as soon as u release the next episode, the suspense is killing moi.

      Reply

  33. LumiAkd
    Aug 17, 2013 @ 04:44:33

    Its 5.38am and ‘Ve been up the past hour reading all the episodes, my husband asked what I’m reading on the phone at this hour…I’m superhooked now! Great story, tells me how the world will be so much better if people just TALK! How come skipper is never in Jite’s mind talk like their issues and Bisade? Becos, its no major ish like Boye thinks? Fingers crossed

    Reply

  34. LumiAkd
    Aug 17, 2013 @ 04:47:49

    And oh, I’m gonna check out ‘Zanzibar’ and ‘Somatizing’…thank you!

    Reply

  35. Trackback: Not So Happily Married …. Episode Seven | YNaija FICTION

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