This will be the last time……….


“This will be the last time.” She decided blinking back tears as she alighted from the Okada.

“ I am never going to do this again.”

“ahn ahn, when it’s not a curse or something. I have to be wise because this thing oo, it’s me that it will affect in the future not him.”

She was mad at herself at her carelessness and lack of judgement. She kept criticizing herself as she walked to the building. She didn’t have to do a five minute walk, she could have made the Okada stop in front of the house but she was too ashamed to do so. What if he knows what young girls come here to do? She had thought.

The gate was always open; it was as though the Doctor liked to think he was operating a standard hospital or Clinic. Yes there was a Clinic in the compound; a place where women who needed their babies came to give birth but she was sure the other thing he did inside his living quarters was his major source of income. It wasn’t like she had ever met another girl there in all the times she had been coming but she knew he had a long list of clientele. A list that included even married women. Dr Kilani was popular in the town. He was the top pick if you needed to kill a foetus or embryo as the case may be.

She held the duffel bag close to her chest, almost as if it were a weapon to defend herself with. She prayed in her heart that the Doctor’s wife won’t be the one to open the door. You would think the woman would respect her husband’s clients since it was a major source of their income; instead she seemed to have perfected the art of throwing disdainful looks. The last time she was there to kill a foetus; the one she had nipped in the bud so early it was almost as if it had never been there. The Doctor’s wife had thrown her big stomach in her face as if to say; “look, some of us allow it to grow”. She hadn’t thought too much of it then, not until later. All that went through her mind that day was how Dr Kilani could kill developing babies when he also had one on the way. Didn’t things like that attract Karma?

That day however, she heaved a huge sigh of relief as she saw that Dr Kilani was the one who opened the door. She saw a baby’s Cot just behind the door and almost said “Nice Cot”, so lovely” but she caught herself realising it won’t be appropriate given the circumstances.

“Folake, please I need about five minutes so I can finish this match. I hope you don’t mind?” He added with a smile.

“No, I don’t.” She replied.

Of course she didn’t mind. The same way she hadn’t minded when Tade told her he couldn’t follow her to the Doctor’s place because he had to watch the match, the same one the Doctor was watching.

She kept her eyes on the Cot thinking of how she would love to have something like it for her baby whenever she got married.

A creeping sadness washed over her at the thought.

Why can’t I keep this baby? she thought. “Maybe she would be really beautiful, my brother’s children are, it must be in the blood.”

But then she knew why she couldn’t keep the baby. The society didn’t expect her to have kids yet, she was supposed to be a good girl, face her studies and remain a virgin till her wedding night.

“Will you prefer to lie down on the examination couch so you can relax before the procedure?”

“No Doctor. I am fine.”

“Good.” He replied.

Procedure, procedure, procedure. She repeated over and over in her head. It’s a procedure and then tomorrow I will be me again. I will go home and no one will ever know I was pregnant.

I should just get up and leave now, she thought knowing she couldn’t. But this will be the last time. She told herself again clenching her teeth at the thought. I should write that in my Bible so that I will keep the promise.

“Oh crap. I know that doesn’t help.  Didn’t I write in it that I will never miss my quiet time?”


“The match’s over. We can go in now.”

“Ok” She replied.

“What were the scores?” She asked glancing at the TV.


“Who won?”


Oh Karma is such a fast bitch. Tade was a Chelsea fan. Now she was sure she wasn’t going to be the only one suffering.

She followed him into the room. The neatness of the room never ceased to strike her. She also always wondered if it was the Doctor’s wife that cleaned it or if he did it himself. It was like any standard hospital room. White washed walls, a drip stand, an examination couch, the reclining chair he used for the “procedures” and a high stool that he sat on while performing them. She dropped the poly bag that contained the usual items that she brought with her in a corner of the room; a bottle of bleach and a big sachet of detergent. One thing was certain; his wife was never going to run out of detergent and bleach.

She lay on the reclining chair, she had come prepared; a free flowing dress that would ensure she didn’t have to expose her body more than necessary. She rested her back, lifted up her knees and then parted her legs. She was ready; Dr Kilani had full access now.

She closed her eyes as she heard him move towards the high stool that was placed just between her legs. She heard every sound even though she wished she could tune them out. She exhaled deeply as he parted her thighs knowing it was going to start anytime now.

She winced as he inserted whatever it was that he always inserted into her cervix. She had never looked at his instruments. She saw them but never really saw them. They were always too disturbing for her to look at. She kept her eyelids shut tightly and her teeth clenched together as she felt him begin to scrape.

 “This would end soon”. She thought. “This is not like the first time. That was a nightmare.” She didn’t like to think of it but the memories always came back every time she was in the room undergoing the “procedure”.

They had been more than careless, she in particular. She hadn’t even realised she was pregnant until she was three months gone and then they had used every drug they managed to hear of but the foetus only continued to grow, She had taken injections too from a Nurse that lived down her street. When that too didn’t work, she had started doing all the things that were supposed to make a pregnant woman lose her baby only hers didn’t plan on going anywhere. And then finally a week to her fifth month she had discovered Dr Kilani. When he examined her he had said just two sentences.


“It’s doable.”

He had then given her drugs, told her to lie down and did something that gave her stomach spasms and made her leak amniotic fluid. Come back after twenty-four hours he had said. By the time she came back, she was having what he had called contractions and then he had made her push the foetus out.

“It would have been a girl.” he had said asking if she wanted to see it. She had shaken her head and then he had cleaned her up and gone somewhere for about thirty minutes. She had guessed he went to dispose the foetus but she had never asked. It had been a horrible time, she had bled for days and had to go back to the Doctor who told her there were pieces of tissue left in her. That was the first time he did the scraping thing and then less than 10 minutes later, she was good as new.

She had never forgotten, the memory remained in her head and even now as she tried to stop herself, she couldn’t help the tears from falling.

This has to stop. This would be the last time. She said aloud as Doctor said; “We are done. You are good to go.”

“Interesting.” He replied. “The last time? Well if you say so.”

She hurriedly put her panties on; dropping the 10,000 naira she had told her Mom was for some advanced level practical on the Couch she had been lying on.

“I mean it Doctor.”

“I am not arguing Folake but you and I know you would be back. Your type always come back.”

She ignored his words and hurried out of the room.

“Don’t forget to use your antibiotics.” He called after her. “We don’t want you to have issues getting pregnant again.”

She heard him but ignored him again.

“This will be the last time. I will see to it.”

28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. elsie
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 11:35:26

    Welcome back. Good way to come back. This lady! So the baby’s father preferred watching football than going with her and she even collected the money from her mum. Sigh*
    I am sure she will go back there like the doctor said.


  2. cheekoh
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 11:44:29

    Toyin is back! Sweety whr have u been?


  3. Trackback: This will be the last time………. – Y! Fiction
  4. Nuttie Eve
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 11:59:31

    Welcum back toyin, missed reading ur write ups loads! Hmmmmm, I hope she keeps and promise and doesn’t go back. And hope she doesn’t go back 2 Tade who thinks futball is berra dan her.


  5. Ablad
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 12:05:05

    Great one! Aunty Toyin is back! Well done o.


  6. fabunmi Tolani
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 12:17:30

    Nice one o,glad u’re back


  7. cocosgist
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 13:06:42

    Toyin is back!!! I should dance but she’s been away for too long. *wicked sideeyes*


  8. themmylawlah
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 18:12:08

    aunty Toyin!!!!!! welcome av always visited dis place thinking maybe my mails were going to spam.. ow married life u just abandoned us afta wedding.. NYC story I must confess buh d gal stupid oo collecting money from d mum and a guy hu loves football more Dan ha life..


  9. theinkheart
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 19:58:03

    ttooyyiinn is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAH, SHE IS BACK!!!!


  10. Folashade adeyemo
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 20:12:20

    This is good Ozi’s wifey. Welcome back dear . I pray she keeps her promise.


  11. chandlerklebs
    Feb 08, 2014 @ 22:43:10

    This part reveals a lot.

    “Why can’t I keep this baby? she thought. “Maybe she would be really beautiful, my brother’s children are, it must be in the blood.”

    But then she knew why she couldn’t keep the baby. The society didn’t expect her to have kids yet, she was supposed to be a good girl, face her studies and remain a virgin till her wedding night.”

    This is what I think is the cause of many abortions. It is a common thread I have seen before. I hate it. I hate any society, religion, or culture that does this to women and babies. It must be stopped.


  12. Bose
    Feb 09, 2014 @ 13:13:55

    thank God U r back o Toyinfab. Hope it will be the last time for her jare


  13. Isaacola AA
    Feb 10, 2014 @ 12:18:05

    Addiction to unprotected sex without thoughtfulness and thoroughness will almost alway produce either a foetus or STD or both!


  14. areurmikun
    Feb 10, 2014 @ 15:36:29

    Ha finally she’s back! Welcome back dear Great piece!


  15. tessadoghor
    Feb 10, 2014 @ 22:43:07

    Thank God for His mercies
    Pray she can keep her promises.


  16. Mz Greene
    Feb 11, 2014 @ 08:20:43

    Where have you been? Missed you plenty. Welcome back n WHO is this Folake’s boo dt won’t follow her 2 d procedure? Smh….. is this a series?


  17. abluckyi
    Feb 13, 2014 @ 09:40:27

    it’s nice to have you back ma’am. Nice piece.


  18. jesuseun folasire
    Feb 14, 2014 @ 05:19:12

    I like the word “kill a fietus”. Its just that those little& young girls who does it wont read or listen to advices.
    Good piece jare. My Toyenyen


  19. modupsneb
    Feb 15, 2014 @ 19:41:07

    Toyin dear,Ka bo si ori eto wa,toyinfabswordpress. For me,I don’t blame the girl one bit,I blame a society dat pretends as if they don’t knw pre marital sex is the order of the day.and am sure the Doc is right “her type alwayz come back”


  20. maxxokoedion
    Feb 18, 2014 @ 09:29:20

    Welcome back!

    She will indeed go back. Until she realises her worth. Until she’s fed up enough.

    Nice work Toyin! Missed you.


  21. Mz Greene
    Feb 26, 2014 @ 11:05:56

    Beautifully written has always…


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