It’s Not Important….

This was originally posted on my former blog: toyinfab.blog.com

In case you missed it: enjoy.

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I looked at him and wished I could rest my head on his shoulders, the urge was so strong and I was having a hard time controlling it, I thought of what he would think if I did it, I wondered if he would be appalled or just enjoy an opportunity to give comfort to a beautiful girl in need. Looking around, I imagined what the other occupants of the bus would think too. His face was handsome and clean shaved with no stubble in sight, a smooth face; just what I needed to run my palms over, I thought sighing. I thought of saying hello but decided against it.

I needed comfort badly, a massive headache was just reaching its peak, my heart too was aching from hurt and my eyes from the sleepless night. The last time I closed my eyes was 2.00 am when I saw the message, I silently rebuked myself for giving in to the temptation to read Juwon’s messages, I should have gone back to sleep after using the bathroom which was what woke me in the first place, but I had seen my Blackberry beaming its red light, checked it and saw I had a message on my Blackberry Messenger, I should have known that whatever Juwon wrote will only make me depressed.

***

It was the usual topic that causes all our flights, the question of when I would join him in the states,I sent him a message on BBM telling him how I thought the ring he placed on my finger for three years now was a sort of a bondage and not really signifying any intention for marriage. I told him I was going to ship his ring back to him unless he comes around to see my people and choose a day for our wedding, I was annoyed and I conveyed it in my chats, I was sick of telling every man that comes my way off just because I have a ring on my finger,I told him of the days when I feel the need for a man to hold me, I told him of the lonely nights I spend in my flat, shivering from the cold and on hot nights wishing I had a man to stand up from the bed and put on my big generator, I told him how at my 30th birthday the previous month my mum had almost broken my finger trying to wrench off the useless (her words) ring on my fourth finger. I told him I didn’t understand how his wanting to concentrate on his PhD program affected our getting married, I reminded him that we still had a long way to go in preparing for marriage, I reminded him about how our bid to get a residency visa for me would only be possible after marriage and how that might also take a considerable amount of time, I ended my talk by telling him how much I love him and how much I hated to bug him.

Juwon was online throughout my ranting, I kept seeing the telltale ‘r” on BBM that signified he was reading, I waited for a response but I never got any, I was upset that he didn’t respond, I dialed his number but he didn’t pick, after like an hour of tossing,turning and hissing I went back to sleep only to wake up at 2.00am and see his response, the one that kept me awake for the rest of the night.

*****

The bus was stuck in the usual traffic, I checked the time and I saw I still had at least an hour to get to work before I could be considered as late, that meant I could relax and take my mind off the traffic, I checked out his shoulders again, strong I thought once again pushing away the desire to rest my head on it. I imagined how it will feel if he wrapped me in his arms and pushed the thoughts away. I looked at the messages, went back to the response and my heart ached yet again as I read it;

“I can’t sleep……”

“I keep thinking of why you disturb me about these things every time”

“I am wondering what it is that is chasing you and putting you in such a rush”

“please I need peace of mind to face my studies here…..stop pestering me with things that are not important.”

“However, if you are so much in a hurry then……..”

If there was a suggestion I could give RIM it will be that they should make the BBM application such that you could underline some words in messages for posterity sake. In my mind I underlined the “pestering”, ‘‘unimportant things” and the “if you are so in a hurry….” part. To Juwon, my desire to be his wife was not important, my burning desire to get married at thirty was also not important and of course if I was in a hurry I could go to hell or whatever it was he meant by the uncompleted sentence.

******

I sighed and decided it really shouldn’t be important if I placed my head on the stranger’s shoulder so I placed it gently, he froze and then adjusted so I can place it well, I could feel the eyes of the other occupants of the bus boring holes into my back, but also shrugged it off as unimportant, they couldn’t be sure we were not lovers anyway and I quickly hid my ring finger. I saw it as unimportant when he asked for my name, phone number, Blackberry pin and office address. It didn’t really seem like a big deal when we met for dinner that very evening, neither was it a big issue when I spent a night in his house a week later.

****

“Hi baby, I am at the airport”

“You are traveling?” “To where? “

“I’m not traveling, I just arrived”

“You just did?” “Arrived where?”

“MMIA of course, I need you to come pick me”

“You didn’t say you were coming”

“Yeah, I didn’t…..it was meant to be a surprise but you don’t seem excited, I thought you would be.”

“I don’t?” “Oh, I am glad, just shocked. I will leave the house now” I said dropping the call before he could say another word.

My forehead broke out in perspiration immediately, I thought of the things I had done in the past one month and was filled with sudden shame.

I picked my phone hurriedly and began the necessary weeding of text messages and call history.

I stepped into the sunshine and flagged a cab, I told the driver to head for the airport and sat quietly at the back, my heart thumping with dread, I felt like my guilt was written all over me and tried to force excitement into my heart. It didn’t work so I started psyching myself up chanting ”the things I have done, Juwon must not know” all the way to the airport….

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Author: Toyinfab

Young, beautiful…..allergic to nonsense

Toyinfab has written 16 articles for us.

11 Responses

ololade 04/12/2012 9:01 pm

Nice one,keep it up

onceuponafatum 04/12/2012 9:43 pm

OMG! she better not tell him cos he will definitely use it against her to break-up with her. Great story …. I totally relate

Olasheni 04/12/2012 11:05 pm

Pls I need the tail end pls

9jaBloke 04/12/2012 11:55 pm

We uncannily provide the leverage for fate to throw the kitchen sink at us…………..sometimes! Quite an intriguing short story, one that holds so much lessons in that oft mouthed cliche: Had l known! Nice one Tosin.

ololade 05/12/2012 1:18 am

I totally agree wit u on dis one.

Mag Fawibe 05/12/2012 7:32 am

Nice piece Toyenyen!! Keep it up darling sister, I see you winning an award so day!

Somi 05/12/2012 9:42 am

Ha han… She should have told the Juwon guy that it was over na. Before moving on to the next one. After underlining all those key phrases in his chat, I thought she would give him marching orders, if she had then anything she does with the new one would be perfectly acceptable. Anyway sha…. Good work. Would love to read the next chapter.

Anonymous 05/12/2012 10:01 am

Nice one………

egbeyemi omorilewa 05/12/2012 11:20 am

ahh! aunty toyin dis one superb gani o!

zebbook 05/12/2012 7:32 pm

Wowza!!! Tuale mama, this is BEAUTIFUL!!! Kai, I love it mehn.

Bukola oyat 06/12/2012 5:47 pm

Wooh that’s great story can’t wait for d conclusion.

 

 

 

 

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: It’s Not Important…. – Y! Fiction
  2. azeezah Taiwo Hameed
    Mar 03, 2014 @ 07:17:38

    Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

    Reply

  3. Bola
    Mar 14, 2014 @ 12:07:18

    Can’t blame the Chick o jare. Who knows what Juwon has been up to in the past 3yrs. Body no be firewood na……women also have blood flowing through their veins…..

    Reply

  4. rak
    Dec 29, 2014 @ 21:25:13

    I like her style

    Reply

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