Baby Poop, Perineum and other Motherhood Things

You+know+you're+a+mom+when

Motherhood is work and errrr fun. I have had ssome really cool experiences and I have learnt more than I imagined I would. Will like to share some.

Enjoy.

 

It’s not always malaria when it feels like Malaria. I remember being quite sure I had malaria, getting an anti malaria drug and then quite characteristic of me developing cold feet about using the drug. I also remember Hubby diagnosing every ailment possible except for pregnancy. A week later, I was glad I didn’t use the drug.

 

The mirror can actually be your best friend or your worst enemy. Second trimester I was glowing, loving my skin and full hair and enjoying the comments of “pregnancy suits you”. Too late I realized I should have done a pregnancy photo shoot then because fast forward to third trimester I was looking like a Whale, carrying an extra 16kg around, a face that could scare children and discovering that getting out of bed or off a chair can be an event. And of course I avoided anything that could show my reflection.
Interesting thing is most of the weight is gone now, it went so fast it felt like I slept one night and woke up the next morning several kilograms lighter.

 

That my shoe size will increase from 37 to 39!! How come nobody ever mentioned that? Thankfully though I have my feet back.

 

That Pregnancy adds some weird words to your vocabulary. I now know some interesting words. Words I never imagined existed. Stuff like; Meconium which by the way is a fancy name for baby’s first poop (that black gelly stuff that looks like tar), Lanugo,Lochia,LineaNigra,Striae,Apgar,Apnea,Eclampsia,Episiotomy,Perineum,Vernix,Fundus and other really outlandish words.

 

Nollywood’s motto should be “mis informing the public since 19 gbogboro while that of Google should be “Best friend ever”. We all know that in Nigerian movies, the sign someone is about to give birth is the person suddenly doubles over in pain screaming about how her back and limbs no longer belong to her. Trust me reality is not that sudden, chances are you would mistake the initial pain for something else.

 

Love at first hearing is also real. I always imagined my baby would be placed in my arms immediately after birth and looking at him we would have this moment of “my sweetie, my love” with tears dripping down my eyes. In reality though, it went like this; I was lying there knowing my baby was out and wondering why I couldn’t hear him crying. I started asking why he wasn’t crying and everyone burst into laughter wondering how I couldn’t hear his cries which was threatening to bring the roof down. And then I heard it as soon as they said it. What I felt at the sound of his voice cannot be described, all I know was I was murmuring “My baby, My Love, please let me see him”

 

That the protective instinct would be immediate.
Seeing my baby placed beside me, the only thing I could think of apart from how beautiful he looked was how risky it was to place an infant on a bed which had no railings, beside a mother who couldn’t stand up to save herself. I placed an arm around my baby and ignored the nurses trying to tell me that “Newborns don’t move”

I was vindicated when I woke up to find my baby had somehow managed to curl himself up into a ball and moved his head to place his cheeks on my shoulders, I wanted to scream “Where is that shediot who said newborns don’t move”? but instead tears welled in my eyes at the sweetness of it.

 

That my breasts are actually connected to my brain.
I mean who knew? That seeing my baby burrowing his cheeks against my chest or hearing him cry will make breast milk to start dripping all over my dress.

 

That someone could give you sleepless nights and you would still think they are the best ever. Since my baby arrived I have hardly slept a cumulative of three hours a night. But I found it easy to look on the bright side and have found delight in maximising our Dstv subscription. Who knew they showed really cool movies between 1 a.m and 5 a.m.

 

That I could compose songs; My list of composed songs grow every day, everything from turning my baby’s names into a rhyme to making a song about an event as gross as my baby doing the poop.

That it would be so easy to forget the pain, it’s barely six weeks after and I can’t remember how the different kinds of pain felt like. Looking back, it looks like it wasn’t all that bad.

And then these two really weird things;
1. That I will be such an expert on baby poop. I actually Googled and committed to memory the different colours, textures and look of baby poop for every stage of development in the first year. Each diaper change sees me examining my baby poop to ascertain everything is fine. Gross shey?

2. Baby can somehow tell when Mama is eating. Every time I eat my baby cries for food, he even wakes up if he is sleeping. It sounds farfetched but it has happened too often to be just a coincidence.

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47 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. cocosgist
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 18:01:17

    Congratulations again, Toyin!!! Glad you’re relishing motherhood. Enjoy the memories dear & may he always bring you & ‘Omo Ibo’ joy.
    GODs blessings rest upon your home.

    Your Number 1 fan…aside ‘Omo Ibo’ & yes, Omo Omo Ibo 😀

    Reply

  2. b
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 18:02:41

    I know it’s 6 weeks late but Congratulations! May you continue to enjoy the joys of motherhood and may your son continue to flourish and bring joy and laughed to your home. Congratulations mummy

    Reply

  3. moskeda
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 18:43:38

    You’re giving me baby blues, Toyin.
    Yeah, i think it’s about time, i go for another. 😉

    Reply

  4. Oluwabukunmi
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 18:48:56

    Lol. Everything here sounds almost like my own story except for some differences. I had my son exactly one month ago.
    When I started having symptoms, being a doc and husband also a doc, the first thing we thought of was to do a pregnancy test. First trimester was real torture, I couldn’t keep anything down, kept throwing up and lost a lot of weight.
    By the second trimester, I recovered but didn’t really gain much weight but I was glowing. Luckily, third trimester too, I was still glowing and didn’t blow up at all. Gained just 7kg 2nd & 3rd trimesters.
    Being a doc, I was already familiar with the terms. But I was told that while coming out of anaesthesia, I kept asking for my baby and that I wanted to carry him. He was placed in my arms and I kissed him. And I repeated this cycle 4times. Then I was asking my sis, also a doc, what d apgar score was, birthweight, and all d medical jargons.
    I must say motherhood is indeed a blessing. And it’s really fun knowing what to expect as d baby grows and seeing them happening. I look into my son’s face and feel everything is going to be alright.
    The sleepless nights, we’ll, I’m getting used to them. And yes, I also think babies have psychic powers & can tell when their mothers are eating.
    It’s really been a wonderful experience.

    Reply

  5. lumitee
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 19:11:11

    Congratulations darl and welcome to the club.I had my baby girl 3 months back and it’s been a fantabulous experience and that part of them crying when their mother is eating…I thought it was just me o. Sure we are grateful for the opportunity though. Thank God and once again congratulations! Savour every moment

    Reply

    • Toyinfabs
      Aug 05, 2014 @ 09:01:15

      My dear, that food thing is not funny. Sometimes I have to leave my food midway to attend to him. But its getting better though and hopefully we will soon lose that particular connection.

      Reply

  6. Kany T. Dahl
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 19:28:07

    Congrats on the Lord’s blessing to ur marrige.

    Reply

  7. fabunmi Tolani
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 19:45:16

    Can’t wait to see u and the baby. Even though I have not experienced it, u made everything seem so fascinating. And the part where u said u looked like a whale, I can actually testify to it cus u sure looked like one compare to ur normal weight den. *tongue out

    Reply

  8. adefunke62
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 19:59:39

    Congrats

    Reply

  9. Trackback: Baby Poop, Perineum and other Motherhood Things – Y! Fiction
  10. Isaacola AA
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 20:11:48

    I can identify with you Toyin. Good one, hope you are getting up to three hour stretch cause my wife only get one at a go.

    Reply

  11. Clarion
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 20:39:08

    Awww….you wanna make me catch the baby blues….ODESHI! :D.
    Your experience certainly sounds fascinating. Unfortunately, that glowing during pregnancy thing seems to avoid me like a plague, so yes, I’m beefing you and other “glowers” lol. Welcome to the club Toyin, motherhood sounds really good on you.

    Reply

  12. grace
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 21:09:36

    Congrats once again Ore………tanx for throwing more lite…Nollywood….*no tanx*.

    Reply

  13. Iretiade
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 21:34:00

    Oluwatoyin,thank God for everything.u are well stuffed nd blessed with wisdom,may God bless u more.

    Reply

  14. anafricandiva
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 21:44:21

    Aaaah, this post has brought on a serious nostalgia. Another baby, dear lord. I waaaant! Congratulations Toyin, I’m thrilled for you. The joys of motherhood, gosh! Kiss your baby for me!

    Reply

  15. topazo
    Aug 04, 2014 @ 23:40:51

    congrats!
    motherhood is a life changing experience
    lol @ nollywood deceiving people since 19 gbogboro….

    Reply

  16. deedee
    Aug 05, 2014 @ 05:18:26

    Congrats dear……making some of us thnking of going dwn that road again!!!!

    Reply

  17. memeanit
    Aug 05, 2014 @ 05:20:30

    Hahahaha……u r absolutely correct.mine has bin 8weeks nd i share ur feelings. Congrats

    Reply

  18. kennydele
    Aug 05, 2014 @ 10:18:45

    Wooow,can’t wait to experience mine ooo,congrats again Toyin.Olorun a da si.

    Reply

  19. Noelle
    Aug 05, 2014 @ 12:40:53

    Hmmmmm. Hearing all this has kinda is making it all sound worth the tension! #thereisabrightsidetoit!#. Congrats sis! The Lord bless your and ur cute one, Amen!

    Reply

    • Noelle
      Aug 05, 2014 @ 12:42:40

      Hmmmmm. Hearing all this, has kinda made it all sound worth the tension! #thereisabrightsidetoit!#. Congrats sis! The Lord bless your and ur cute one, Amen!

      Reply

  20. elsieisy
    Aug 05, 2014 @ 14:25:18

    Congratulations Toyin. May God keep you and your baby. I miss you here. Reading this makes me wanna have a baby too soon.

    Reply

  21. nwanneamakaa
    Aug 05, 2014 @ 16:46:58

    Congrats Toyin. Brings back memories but glad I am all done. May the l’il one continue to bring you joy.

    Reply

  22. oscarpoems
    Aug 05, 2014 @ 22:38:21

    What I have always been told has been corroborated in this piece. Mothers say the pains of the last 9 months disappear before you can even think of it when you hold your new bundle of joy.
    Congratulations Toyin, heavens will make your parenting easy and effective

    Reply

  23. Ijilola
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 09:31:42

    Congrats toyin so happy for u. thou dis write up make me wanna have another baby seriously.

    Reply

  24. Kemi O
    Aug 07, 2014 @ 21:17:22

    Aaaw! *sniffs*

    Reply

  25. rossymorph
    Aug 10, 2014 @ 20:10:18

    Congrats once again, interesting experience.

    Reply

  26. modupsneb
    Aug 27, 2014 @ 23:02:26

    my toyen yen.. congrats dear.hail zizi boy.

    Reply

  27. Nahema
    Sep 16, 2014 @ 03:11:51

    Congratulations Toyin. Motherhood is amazing, had my lil prince 4 months ago and it’s been fun. It’s true that the pain disappears once the child is born. All I was saying is ‘My baby, My baby, My baby’ with tears rolling down my cheeks(hubby and mum still makes fun of this moment). Hmmmm, I’m sure they know when mum is eating o and I’m now expert on different smell between baby poop and fart. God’s blessings always

    Reply

  28. consyspark
    Dec 14, 2014 @ 06:22:49

    lovely

    congrats baby mama

    Reply

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