My Wounds May Never Heal II

In case you missed the first part, please check here https://toyinfabs.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/my-wounds-may-never-heal/

 

despair

I had been sitting in the living room watching Atilola take her afternoon meal when I heard Jimi’s voice.
“Where is that fool? ehn, where is that imbecile I call a wife? Seni get here now before I come there to drag you.”
I moved to the edge of my seat, my heart thumping with dread. I was confused, wondering what it was that I had done. I didn’t want any fight especially not when Atilola was awake. I knew I had to do whatever it takes to make him calm down. I said a quick prayer asking God for wisdom to deal with the situation.
I walked to the bedroom reciting the bible passage I had read that morning under my breath. I had been going through the books of proverbs looking for verses that could help me cope with my situation.
“A soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger”
That was the verse that had jumped at me immediately I opened Proverbs that morning. I took it as a divine revelation and was determined to put it into practice that afternoon.
“Baby, I’m here” I said immediately I entered the room.
“Do you want me to get you something?”
“Don’t baby me, do you understand? Don’t you baby me.”
I sighed softly, of course the soft words thing wouldn’t work with Jimi, but I was still determined to try.
“Jimi, I’m sorry for whatever it is that I have done, you know I hate to stress you.”

“Don’t you dare patronise me Seni, Don’t even bother because it’s not going to work.”

“Do you know you are just a good for nothing idiot and a big bellied one at that”, he said casting a distasteful look at my caesarean section induced big belly.

I swallowed hard, hurt at his reference to my stomach. I felt annoyed that he would say such a thing especially since he was aware of my efforts to lose the belly fat.

He pulled a bag from inside my closet and spilled the contents on the bed.
“Look at these” He said, pointing a finger at the clothes now scattered on the bed.
“Seni, I am going to kill you this afternoon” he added, clenching his teeth and drawing his trouser belt.
I panicked more worried about the fact that Atilola could walk in at any time than about the beating I was about to receive.

Several thoughts flashed through my mind in split seconds, I backed towards the door of the room even as Jimi moved menacingly towards me, holding the belt in readiness to strike. I thought of rushing to the living room, grabbing my daughter and running for dear life but knew the chances of doing that was too narrow.

As if Jimi guessed my thoughts, he dragged me from beside the door and pushed me further into the room. My eyes misted and I started pleading with him, asking him to allow me to explain. He ignored my pleas and holding both my hands with one of his hands dealt the first whip of the belt to my back.

“Stupid woman”, he shouted sprinkling spittle on my body, “you had the guts to go shopping for yourself after telling me you had no money to borrow me”.

You selfish moron”, he said raising the belt yet again and hitting me on the thighs. He let go of my hands and pushed me on the bed, I curled up on the bed trying as much as I could to shield my head and face with my arms. I wanted to scream and shout about how much I hated him but I didn’t want Atilola to hear my screams.

I resolved to endure it until Jimi got tired and so I tried to focus on counting the blows. The tears ran profusely down my face and I lay there whimpering determined not to cry out and not to beg him.

“I won’t stop till I kill you today” he said making my heart skip a beat and weakening my resolve to not fight back. I however decided to wait till the twentieth before taking any further action. He was on the thirteenth lash when I heard Atilola’s screams.

“Daddy leave my mummy, stop beating my mummy”, she cried hitting him with her tiny hands. I sat up to look at my daughter and the fourteenth blow landed on the right side of my face.

I ignored the blinding pain, shocked that he seemed unaffected by Atilola’s actions and completely shattered that my daughter was having that sort of traumatic experience at her age. I stood up suddenly and made for the door, but he raised his leg and managed to trip me. He drew me up, slapped me repeatedly and pushed me against the only window in the room. All the while Atilola kept wailing screaming “leave her, “leave her”.
He pinned my arms to the burglary proof window, I cringed at the thought of what was coming, I knew the next thing was going to be a head butt, my cranium should have shattered based on the number of head butts I had received since the first time he hit me. I made a split second decision and ripped out the iron curtain tie-back beside my right palm, I raised it quietly, my teeth clenched and jabbed the sharp end into his side in the split second before the head butt landed. He went down immediately holding his side and groaning in pains.

I did not stop to check the extent of his injuries but rushed out of the room with my daughter, picked the keys from the hallway and drove off to my Mom’s place. I however called my mother-in-law while in the car and advised her to get an ambulance to the house. I switched my phone off immediately after the call and decided there and then never to go back to the house. This decision, I told myself was irrevocable.

******

All that was six months before Bosola brought the news of Jimi’s latest plans. I thought of her words again and the urgency with which she had said it. She wanted me to do something fast. There was something about her words that irritated me to no end because it seemed to suggest that I fight to get Jimi back. I had no desire to do that. All I wanted was my freedom. I hadn’t set a foot in our matrimonial home since the day I stabbed him, although we had spoken on phone for a number of times after he left the hospital. I was always the one to call and it was for just one reason, I needed him to sign the divorce papers, I wanted my freedom more than anything else but Jimi had refused saying emphatically that I was his and would never belong to any other man as long as he lives.

I shuddered as I always did whenever I remember the statement. As indifferent as I wanted to feel about what Bosola told me, the news did bring with it a ray of hope and what could be my only chance. If I played my cards well, I could get my freedom soon I thought finally leaving the window and reaching out for my mobile phone. I needed to call Jimi and we were going to have a long and hopefully fruitful discussion.

…….to be continued on Wednesday 09/01/2012

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